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There are two radically different impulses that human beings struggle with every day. On the one hand, there’s the instinct to be selfish, greedy, and self-interested to get ahead of the pack. On the other hand, people are also hardwired to be social, empathetic, and kind, so they want to help others. We tend to respect folks who set their own needs aside for the sake of the group.
Inspired by u/DevinTryan, the AskReddit community praised some of the most selfless people that they’ve ever witnessed, ‘taking one for the team.’ We’ve collected some of the most impressive and wholesome stories to inspire you to be a bit more altruistic today. Check them out below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I thought it was noble how older Japanese people volunteered to help clean up the Fukushima reactor because they knew the horrors of radiation and that they wouldn't live as long as the younger generation who would have to worry about long term effects like cancer and leukemia. That takes a very deep understanding of the finite nature of your own life, and a strong sense of duty.
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#2
In my state just the other day a older man pushed a group of little leaguers out of the way of an erratic driver (probably drunk but police haven’t confirmed) and took the hit from the car instead of the kids. He died on the way to the hospital. Literally took one for the little league team.
#3
Very minor, but I found it funny.
I'm a nurse, and I was cleaning up a patient who had been incontinent of stool. Unfortunately, it was quite a significant amount and the smell in the room was very strong. The patient was super sweet, and I felt bad for how embarrassed they were.
As soon as I was done, the doctor and his group of residents came in. The younger ones couldn't hide the look on their faces as the smell hit them, and my poor patient looked absolutely mortified.
I piped up "I'm sorry guys, that was me, I've been farting all day. My god, the farting!". Everyone had a good laugh, the patient included.
Altruism is all around you. However, it’s not always as dramatic as you see in the news or media, with people rescuing those in danger or donating vast swathes of their wealth to important causes. Kindness isn’t always loud.
You don’t have to do heroic acts to be altruistic. You can help people out in small ways, with no expectation of reward, every single day. This might involve holding the door for a stranger, giving a bit of your time or money to charity, showing concern for someone, etc.
As per Verywell Mind, there are several main types of altruistic behavior:
- Genetic altruism, where you help your close family members
- Reciprocal altruism which involves a give-and-take relationship, where you help someone because you expect them to help you out in the future
- Group-selected altruism, where you mainly help those individuals who are part of your social group
- Pure altruism, also known as moral altruism, is when you help someone without any reward, even when it’s risky. This type of altruism is “motivated by internalized values and morals.”
#4
Told my dad I was the one who dropped my brother, who was bleeding, instead of my sister because I was liked better and would've received a less severe punishment.
#5
When I was pretty young, like between the ages of 5-12 or something, me and my best friend were basically inseparable. The two of us used to be pretty mischievous, and got into a lot of trouble, especially in school. We'd spend a lot more time at my house than at his, and whenever one of my parents would get mad about something that we did, he would try to take all the blame himself. He told me years later that his parents were physically a*****e behind closed doors, and he assumed the same of every family. The reason he took the blame for everything was because he thought everyone's parents would beat them fairly regularly, but he knew that my parents would never touch him, because he wasn't their kid.
#6
I took the blame for having w**d at school.
My friend who actually brought it was already in the care of child services and on the last line to go to juvi, the friend who was going to take the blame was in the same boat, then there was me, never so much as a detention.
The school knew I was lying but couldn’t prove it, had no choice but to expel me. The police didn’t press charges because again, they knew it wasn’t really me, I was the fall guy but nothing more. They felt bad for me I think, they could see I was a good person in with a crowd I had no business being with.
Looking back, I’m glad I did take the blame, not for my friends, they didn’t deserve the fall I took for them, they just used me many many times over but because it got me away from those toxic friends and environment and I actually got to finish high school somewhere else with a much better outlook on life and actual true friends.
Of course, not all acts of kindness are altruistic. Your intent matters quite a bit. Some people are motivated by duty, obligation, guilt, or rewards. Prosocial behavior benefits other people, no matter your intent or what you get out of it, too. “While all altruistic acts are prosocial, not all prosocial behaviors are completely altruistic,” Verywell Mind explains.
According to Calm, some of the main explanations for why people are altruistic include the following ideas:
- The empathy-altruism hypothesis suggests that you’re more likely to help someone out because you feel empathy for them
- The social exchange theory states that acting selflessly is beneficial because you can benefit from it, feel good about yourself, or gain social approval
- Evolutionary psychology suggests that when you help other people, you increase the chances of you and your relatives surviving, therefore, passing on your shared genes
- Sociocultural theories posit that helping others is perceived as a moral duty and a valued cultural norm in many societies
#7
In high school I was the 1st Chair trumpet in band, along with one other experienced student, we had 2 new students one that transferred from a smaller school out of state and one who had been a kiss a*s to the band teacher and got put in the advanced band class.
Our band teacher was an absolute b***h, was to hard on every student and didn't properly lead the band, she was just there because we were a problem school and it looked good on her resume.
The student that had transferred from out of state was probably good at his old school but he didn't hold up to our standard, but he had 3 years of trumpet experience. But He made an effort every class to better him self, he would constantly ask for tips, help and practice sessions with me and the 2nd chair student.
But anytime he messed up during class practice the band teacher would slam her hands on the podium and scream at the trumpet section, she would ask who it was and even before he could answer the Kiss-a*s would point him out. Me and 2nd chair student confronted the teacher about this problem and that the transfer student was doing so much to improve and that we felt the Kiss-a*s should be sent back to beginning class as he had no prior experience with the trumpet and made no effort to improve himself.
She scoffed at us, brushed the problem off and didn't change a thing. So me and the 2nd chair knew what we had to do. Every time the Transfer student messed up we would immediately speak up and say that it was us. She never yelled at us like she did to the Transfer student but we didn't get off easy, but it was worth it.
She quit the next year, after I left Transfer student became first chair his Senior year and went on to join honor Band and then made it into college on his very impressive trumpet skills.
#8
Late to the party but we have to give credit where credit is due. My little brother and me were in the same after school day care. I was around 9 and he would have been 7.
There was lunch and they served broccoli casserole. Now today, I can eat broccoli, back then I'd barf. But they had this "everybody need to try" rule. I try a tiny amount and almost vomit. So my brother, being the hero he is and who also hated broccoli, manages to eat the rest off my plate like a boss.
He often enough annoyed the heck out of me, but at that moment he was my hero.
Sue 2 days ago
In first grade (late 60's), we had to finish all of our lunch or our table couldn't go outside to recess after (there were about 4-5 tables). The most popular guy to sit with would eat the giant crunchy peas for everyone & the most popular girl to sit with would eat the peas AND the sauerkraut. We also managed to stuff some of it in our empty milk boxes, but sometimes my teacher would spot check.
#9
TL;DR Took one for the team and ended up drinking two heaping cups of rotten goat soup in the Kenyan wilderness.
This happened 11 years ago. I went to Kenya as part of a summer humanitarian aid mission organized by my university. They split the group into trios and sent the smaller groups to different Maasai tribes to report on the current living conditions.
Three weeks in, we are invited to a public assembly. In that certain area water was pretty scarce, so we had only access to half a liter a day. We rationed our supply like hawks, and pretty much adapted to the conditions.
So we get to the assembly and turns out some hyenas had k****d a couple of goats two nights before and now the community had to make a report to the government so they could be reimbursed. The goats' corpses were kept in a wheelbarrow outside, next to a huge boiling cauldron.
The guy from our trip was asked to meet the men from the assembly, who were gathered next to the fire.
My other female companion and me were asked to wait in the kitchen. We were frequently invited over to have tea, so this was normal. Two cups of a dark liquid are given to us, and honestly I thought it was bean soup so I took a sip.
It wasn't tea. Later our unit mate told us the elders were scraping all the leftover fat from the goats and melting it in the pot to make soup. Imagine tasting two day old rancid animal fat, which is so liquified it will cover the inside of your mouth, your lips and throat with a fine layer of rotten oil.
We had few rules and one of them was never ever sending food back. Therefore I downed my soup like a champ, only to see my companion look at me and say: "Take one for the team, please.".
You see, we had this other rule that each of us got a free pass by saying this quote. It could only be used once, and if you were asked you couldn't refuse.
I took the heaping cup and downed it. Only this time I felt how my stomach closed, and I felt the soup coming up with a little bit of vomit. I put both of my hands over my greasy lips to not throw up, and passed the soup and vomit mixture down again.
My hands, my lips, and my mouth smelled like death. And there was no water to wash it away. We walked several miles to reach a watering hole fed by a Kilimanjaro stream. I didn't care about giarda, or the fact that cows drank from the same spot. I just drank and washed myself as best as I could.
And that's how I took one for the team.
What is the most selfless and kind thing that you’ve personally seen a person do for the sake of someone else, dear Pandas? What is the most altruistic thing that you’ve done ‘for the team’ in your life, whether heroically dramatic or subtle?
Have you done any small acts of kindness today yet? We honestly can’t wait to read what you have to say. Share your experiences in the comments below.
#10
Newspaper chain I worked for was doing cuts at our daily chain, was set to fire two guys. Editor, already at retirement age but far from wanting to retire, told the bosses it would be disgraceful to fire one of the young reporters and said he’d retire as long as the kid kept his job. Guy was surly, but he appreciated good community journalism.
BookFanatic 2 days ago
I respect bosses who may be surly but stand up for their employees when push comes to shove.
#11
I once intervened at the last second so that my sister would vomit on me because I was easier to clean than the carpet.
#12
Where I work we get audited by auditors every few years just so they can see we're following compliance laws and policies set forth by the company. I just joined in to the company less than 7 months and all the staff were playing hide and seek when the auditor stepped into the room. They wanted to observe and shadow an employee and no one volunteerrd or had the balls to show up. I eventually said f**k it and elected myself just so we could wrap that s**t up and the auditor could leave. Passed with flying colors and company got a f*****g bonus. Was too early to ask for a raise sadly.
#13
When I worked at the golden arches we had a customer... A*****e... S**t paint the stall in the men's room. I was heavily pregnant so I noped the hell out of that. I offered an incentive to whatever poor soul went in to clean it. Debates on who would do it lasted about 15 minutes and one of my more troublesome crew members decided he really wanted an hour break, paid, so he volunteered. He spent 2 hours doing the task, with repeated trips outside to puke. After he was done, I called my boss and explained, with photos, what happened and sent the guy home 4 hours early and paid his entire shift. I had to replace his uniform, just so he could drive home. We torched the old one.
Edit- this got a lot of attention!
I didn't make the rules, no boss of mine was gonna call a hazmat team over this! I definitely disagree with that, on a personal level.
I gave the employee what I could. Was it worth it? F**k no! That's why I consider it taking one for the team. Keep in mind, the company that won't pay for hazmat isn't gonna do much, I got him half his day off, paid, it's all I could give him. I wish I could have done more. Like not be put in a position to make someone clean human waste.
I honestly would have done it myself had I not been literally days from giving birth... It was a s****y situation.
#14
It was a get-together with a bunch of coworkers on Friday night and we all decide to go to a nightclub. The bouncer denies the group and tells me the reason after I take him to the side. He thinks two of the women do not fit the club's ideal "image". He would let us in if we ditched the two girls.
One of the girls comes up to me and asks why they couldn't get in and half-jokingly accuses me. I say, "...umm yeah it's because of me." And then she proceeds to tell the group it's my fault they couldn't get in. I keep my mouth shut.
Beak Hookage 3 days ago
WOW that's sleazy. "We won't let you in if you're not hot enough"? Really?
#15
When I was 16 I took my GED. Passed with close to 100%. It impressed the people at the community college and they offered me a small scholarship. That coupled with grants allowed me to attend full time. I was the only minor staying at the dorms. One evening we got a little too rowdy and the police came. I said all the booze was mine and since I was a minor, I got off with a ticket. Anyone else would have went to jail.
#16
When I was around 10 my friend and I were front flipping onto a mattress in my basement. My dad had just put wood panel on the walls to complete our basement renovation.
My friend did a front flip and his foot went through the wall. My friend’s dad was a big scary man who always yelled at him. So I told my dad it was me.
My dad ended up suuuuper pissed, went down the street to consult another Dad on what to do about the whole thing. I sat in my room ~~balling~~ bawling my eyes because I was so afraid of what was going to happen to me.
My dad came back, gave me a hug, and told me he loved me. He explained that people make mistakes, and turned it into a life lesson.
In a way, it created a really good memory of my dad, so I didn’t really “take one for the team”.
Heck, maybe my friends a*****e dad would’ve responded the same way, and created a bond with him, and I made him miss out on that.....probably not though.
#17
Mate directing a film recounted the time they were filming on snow, with a horse.
The horse decided to do what horses do and take a giant dump. The handler dove forward and caught it in his bare hands so it wouldn't f**k the snow up for the shot. Dead silence, and a massive wave of respect ensued from the entire crew.
#18
My brother accidentally hit me with a golf club and split my lip open when I was like 11. Despite blood pouring out of my face and the insane amount of pain I helped him hide all the evidence and made up a story about me falling off the monkey bars. My parents still dont know, but if they did he probably wouldnt be alive today. 8 stitches later (with no numbing) and about 12 years later I still remind him of that whe he acts like a b***h.
#19
Not "big" but there's a guy in my band class that HATES this girl named Abby. She's one of the nicest people that I've ever met, but this guy hates her with every fiber of his being. He yells at her and argues with her every chance that he gets.
One day, she accidentally knocked over a music stand and the sheet music on the stand went everywhere. He stormed over and started yelling at her until I said "I knocked it over. Abby didn't."
I was near the stand when it fell over, so he believed me and started yelling at me instead.
He's such a p***k. F**k you Ethan.
#20
My neighbor jumped in front of a bus because his dog got loose and ran onto the road where the bus was going to hit him. The dude is now paralyzed.
Headless Horseman 3 days ago
I was going to ask if he regretted it, turns out someone already asked so here is OP's response from reddit: "Hes torn about it. Hes grateful to have been able to save the dog but says if he could do it again he may not have. He mightve locked his dog in better while leaving the front door open. This dude was active and athletic as hell so I get him having regrets in regards to his own lifestyle."
#21
A little late, but from one of my friends, I heard that there was a huge party in one of the dorm rooms at a boarding school. It was one of the last nights and the teachers were going around hoping to catch people doing stuff they weren’t supposed to be doing.
Apparently, when a teacher tried their best to open a door, senior held it down and had everyone else escape through the backdoor. Needless to say, he got kicked out and nobody else did. What a legend.
#22
Friend had smoked w**d for the first time and happened to do it while in school at lunch time. We proceeded to go to English literature where everything was going fine the teacher had no idea then the teacher left the room for the toilet.
Another guy in the class started shouting about how said friend was s****d and we were about 14 years old so my mate was obviously concerned that someone would tell on him so he gets pretty pissed off and it ends up breaking into a fight with tables in the class room being flipped and the two guys rolling around on the ground.
Girls were crying in the corner and eventually a few of us broke up the fight and tried to fix the classroom up, the teacher came in mid cleanup demanding to know what has went on.
Another group of guys in the class said they had started throwing pens causing a pen fight. They all got detention for three weeks straight so you can imagine how pissed the teacher would have been if she found out about the brawl lol.
#23
When I was a teenager I told the parents of the kids I was babysitting that it was me who spilled purple grape juice all over the new white carpet. I'd been specifically told no food or drink allowed in the TV room. One of the little kids at one point came running into the TV room with grape juice and it went everywhere. Something seemed a little off about the parents, especially the dad - nothing specific - really strict, neat, and the kids were just so terrified. I waited til after they paid me, "fessed" up, and left. Never got asked back.
#24
This is mild but once someone pulled the fire alarm in school after hours had ended (we had supplementary classes)
The crazed middle aged demon of a teacher held an entire class of 25 (including some kids who weren't even in the class) back for over 2 and a half hours just because no one wanted to confess.
So then, my quiet, never-been-in-trouble classmate decided to get it over with and just said he did it and let the yelling commence.
There was no yelling, but the goddamned teacher only allowed us to leave in groups according to their vision of who were the most well-behaved students in their eyes.
Bookworm 3 days ago (edited)
I would never have accepted this. "Teacher it's time for me to go now. I can't miss my bus home. If you have a problem with this you're free to have a meeting with my parents and the principal.". Of course I was taught to question teachers from a young age when teachers who were afraid of confrontation tried getting what they wanted by using my brother and I as messengers instead of talking to parents directly. And I knew missing the bus meant a long walk home because my parents couldn't leave work to get me. So no I wouldn't tolerate a teacher's bs like this.
#25
I took a pretty big one for the team back in high school. My parents sent me to a military boarding school for my junior and senior years. The place had a strict zero tolerance policy on d***s and alcohol, meaning if you were caught they would basically expel you without question and your entire $25k tuition would be forfeited.
Of course I met and hung around with other cadets who liked to live on the edge and buck the system. On weekends (who am I kidding, weekdays too) we would hang a shirt over the window (all of the doors in the barracks had a little square so staff could see in...these were NOT supposed to be covered) and plug a fan in the window facing outward with pillows stuffing the area around the fan to create a seal...then, we would quickly smoke pot and/or cigarettes and then spray axe or other fragrances to mask the smell (only helps so much).
Each company’s barracks had a TAC (tactical officer) who was a veteran (typically ex-marines or army) and monitored their own individual company. My junior year, we had a particularly mean ex-marine as our TAC...intimidating as hell and not to be f****d with under any circumstances.
Saturday afternoons were usually free time for cadets across the corps, and TACs were usually pretty aloof or spending time with their families in town. Our group of about 6 or 7 is doing the usual, gathering in our buddy’s room all the way down the hall (you had to walk all the way down the hall to get there as it dead ended in a fire escape) to smoke. Usually we would have a lookout, but again it was a Saturday and we were almost certain the session would unfold without issue.
About halfway through burning a blunt, we are greeted with a violent pounding on the door. Other cadets (ones that didn’t smoke but didn’t care that we did) knew what we did and would sometimes do this to scare/f**k with us as a joke, so we assume this is what’s going on. Banging continues, followed by a very familiar voice yelling “OPEN THIS F*****G DOOR RIGHT NOW!”
It was our TAC! All of us freeze and exchange “deer in headlights” looks as we contemplate our collective fate. The scramble begins...put out the blunt, throw it out onto the roof, get the fan/pillows down and put away...spray deodorizer. Next, everyone takes a seat and puts on their best “act normal” face...we all must have looked completely guilty.
Friend goes to open the door...our TAC marches in dressed in full camo and surveys the scene...7 students (a couple that were pretty high ranking NCOs) looking guilty as hell behind a locked door with covered window, and oh by the way it smells like smoke. I’ll never forget the first words out of his mouth...
“Smells like reefer in here!” he said as he panned across all 7 facial expression looking for an answer. After the longest 10 seconds of silence in history, I realized no one else was going to sack up.
“It was me, sir”, I said...”I was smoking a cigarette, I’m sorry” as I showed him my pack of Marlboro lights. He had a quizzical look on his face as if he knew I was lying, but thankfully decided to take the bait.
I was awarded about 25 tours (one tour is one hour of marching in a large square painted onto an asphalt surface directly out in the sun, which you complete during all of your free time between classes, meals, etc.), but it was worth it to save myself and all of my friends from a trip to the infirmary for a d**g test and probably expulsion. One of the scarier moments I’ve endured in my life, and still have nightmares about some of my experiences there to this day!
Tl;dr - got caught smoking pot at military school...volunteered myself as the culprit claiming it was a cigarette...authority figure buys it and everyone is saved!
#26
I’ve always grown up someone who will eat just about whatever is put before me. I’ve never had issues with being a picky eater. In highschool my friends were very much opposite.
We were helping an older lady clear her yard of brush after a storm. She had paid us after a full days work, and also offered us some homemade stew. We all accepted & told her how hungry we all were. My friends took one bite and decided they could not stomach another. I’ve had bad food before, it was almost as if every bit of the contents of this stew were horribly burnt. It was almost as if she had fire charred every vegetable, meat, etc. even the broth seemed burnt somehow. None of us wanted to hurt this lady’s feelings so I had did what I’d always done when something tastes terrible, eat enough to play the “I’m full card”. My friends wanted to play the same card and pushed all of their food onto my plate while she was in the other room.
Basically I ate 3 portions worth of (debatably) the worst tasting food I’ve ever had.
Huddo's sister 2 days ago
I have made stew before and left it without stirring for too long and burnt the layer of veg on the bottom of the pot. Even though I took out the burnt layer, the rest of the stew still tasted burnt, but because I hate wanting food (and had already had to throw out enough) I ate it all anyway.
#27
My brother played both ways for his football team in high school and was also the punter. During their state championship game he broke his leg about 3/4 of the way through the game. They were up less than a touchdown with a minute remaining and needed to punt. The backup punter looked like he was gonna s**t his pants so my brother went in, punted the ball through a defenders arms going for a block, got tackled, drew the flag and they won the state title.
#28
I once took blame for a giant hole my older brother punched in a wall in our house on accident because I was already the black sheep and that kind of stuff was expected from me and my older brother was the perfect child.
#29
Being the oldest child. You are essentially a lab rat. You set the standards for the younger ones. You form the rules. You have more freedom when the little ones arrive. You also have responsibility.
But forming the rules and standards involve a lot of trial, error, and punishment. Okay, no video games except on weekend? Guess who set that up. It was you and you probably had to deal with a long punishment and a grounding before the rule was made because you were playing a lot. You may also have been born in a time that your parents had limited money, so you could not do a lot of things (say after school activities/clubs, extracurriculars, band, etc.), but your younger siblings can do that because your parents can afford it for them. It has nothing to do with blatant favoritism, though it may feel that way to you. You feel like your parents love them more in a way because they get so much MORE and you could barely ask for things at that age. You feel like your kid sibling is far more spoiled than you were when they whine about having to get up at 8 am for some soccer tournament and resent them slightly because you never had all of that.
You have more freedom, at the cost of responsibility. You’re the default babysitter- anything goes wrong, it’s your fault. Your siblings think that it’s so cool that older sibling can drive and has a car (regardless of how beat up the car is. Most parents, not all, refuse to give a new car for a first car). Having a car involves doing the groceries and driving around siblings to their activities, sometimes having to wait for them due to something taking longer than expected (also, your siblings may just chat with friends and not tell you, but your parents will k**l you if you leave them for making you wait). You will be the one to herd your siblings away if there is a family situation (like parents fighting or an emergency), making sure that they don’t see it, but you will have to. You will be the one who learns how to do things like cook early on to help your working parents (which is something your siblings will not to do as their is no need to do so). You get more chores because you are physically capable of doing more. You have to ask for less so there’s more for them in the future. You also have to put up with the youngest child being the does-no-wrong favorite of the house (they may not get in trouble for things that you would have at their age).
Sorry, I’m a little bitter. I love my siblings, but it’s fairly obvious that my parents prefer my younger brother to both my sister and me, no matter what they say. He’s the golden child and gets what he wants, even if he doesn’t deserve it and often whines for his way. He gets away with a lot. Now don’t get me wrong, if something happened to him, I would drop everything and help him. He’s my brother. But he acts like a little menace (he’s a teenager and parents don’t discipline him when he is spoiled, shows attitude, and will insult others for no reason) and any attempts to discipline him is met with him giving a sad face to my parents and they giving in. Also, don’t get my started on my sister. It’s Ramadan and I was always taught that it’s the non-fasting person’s job to make the food (Iftar) for the fasting person as a courtesy. I’m fasting, sister is not fasting, she gets angry if I ask her to help set the table for my parents who are coming home after work. I love siblings, but being the oldest sucks.
#30
I don't drink and i was the beach with my friends and they were all drinking and they were gonna leave all the cans and empty cans on the beach when we were leaving but i didn't want to leave a mess, so i put them all in my gym bag and on the way home we got stopped by the police and i got done for underage drinking and everyone else was so scared i was going to snitch but i took one for the team. my parents were cool about it when i explained because they trust me that i don't drink, F*****s took my bag too!
S**t happens.
#31
In UNI, in an exam which me and my friends didn’t prepare at all, our professor caught me looking in my friend paper and marked both papers with -2 points (which was very much in that situation where we just wanted to pass)
After the exam, i went straight to the teacher and apologized, telling her that my friend didn’t Even know i was looking in his paper. I made an “offer” telling her i would Take -4 points but i begged her to let my friend with no penalty.
She was very impressed with my act and in the end gave uș no penalties ( i took 5/10 and my friend 6/10).
DeoManus Argentem 2 days ago
So, they both still failed? 80% is the lowest passing grade when I was in high-school and uni, has this changed, or are grading standards vastly different outside the US?
#32
My cousins and I got caught smoking w**d, our parents immediately brought all 5 of us in and started interrogating us one by one. They found w**d in my dads car which we all had taken out the night before. I knew that if no one talked we’d never be able to hang out again so I confessed and said it was mine and that they had no idea it was there. In the end we all got to hang out again and do our own thing but if I didn’t take one for the team we would have never been allowed to see each other.
#33
I’m currently working a 56 hour week so my colleagues can have time off before the training of new starters begins. Does that count?
#34
I went camping the backwoods of northern New Mexico. Because it’s an area that has bears in it, albeit fairly rarely, we still had to take into practice proper scent control and Leave No Trace rules. As a result, when it came time to do dishes, we had to scrub our pot down without soap and just a bit of water to remove the actual chunks of food off the sides. Then go in with a scent free soap solution and clean the pot properly. But before we could take the soap to the pot, someone had to take the watery, food remains, and drink it; also known as human sumping. And of course the one night we had a spicy jambalaya mix for dinner, it was my turn to sump the pot. None of the other meals even compared to how disgusting that sump was. It was super acidic and slimy and almost made me vomit. I kept it down but it was not easy.
TL:DR, I drank a mix of spicy jambalaya leftovers and water to help preserve the land I was camping in.
#35
I posted this on r/TIFU awhile ago but it got deleted. Fits this thread though:
This incident happened way back in the 6th grade. It's worth noting that my 6th grade teacher really didn't like me. Except for this one posted incident, I wasn't a 'trouble student' at all and in fact was a bit shy, but this teacher had a bit of a vendetta against me and my family because she really liked my brother as a student because he was smart, but she got angry when he wasn't interested in joining her special 'computer club program,' and since had treated anyone in my family like s**t until we had all passed elementary school and never saw her again. And it didn't help that she was already a very strict and 'drunk with power' kind of person in the first place.
So, one time in 6th grade we were all in the school library working on a project. All of the files had to have our first and last names, and they were all on the same network so that you could access anyone's file from any computer if you wanted to. This was in the day and age were 'LOL SO RANDOM LOL I LIKE CHEEZBURGRS AND WAFFLZZZ" humor was huge, mind you. I made an extra file and named it "Bob." 6th grade me thought it was the funniest thing, and so did a few other classmates that saw it (yes, I understand it isn't funny in the slightest, but to young children like myself at the time it was the joke of the century). This proved to be a big mistake. Again, my teacher was a very strict and very cruel person who seemed to delight in dishing out punishments whenever possible. She did not like the name Bob being there when no one in our class was named Bob, and began a hunt to figure out who Bob was. She demanded that the culprit speak up the moment she saw the name.
"Who is Bob?" she asked the class.
But no answer came. I honestly didn't think I was risking anything by naming a file Bob, but looking back I should've known better, knowing this teacher and how much she didn't like me. And s**t, I wasn't going to get caught for it.
"WHO IS BOB?" she asked again, still to no answer.
After a few minutes, she left the room. She came back a few minutes later with another teacher, the librarian, and the principle. S**t was getting real, and it was getting real really fast. They began walking around asking students one-by-one. My teacher started with me (as she usually did, though to be fair she was actually right this time) and questioned me, but I held strong and insisted that I was not Bob. She explained that if I was lying then I'd be in huge trouble instead of if I had just fessed up now. 6th grade me, however, knew this game. She had no proof it was me, and fessing up would result in, at the bare minimum, a week with no recess and possibly even detention. I wasn't going to cave, so I insisted it wasn't me.
She and her lackeys continued on, questioning classmates one-by-one. Obviously, no one else said it was them. The teachers, librarian, and principal re-convened in the center of the computer lab and started to discuss strategy. After a few moments, they exit their huddle and announce "alright, no lunch for anyone until Bob fesses up." This meant we were all locked up in the computer lab until I confessed, but honestly this threat made the situation even worse for them: if I fess up now then not only will the teachers be mad at me, but my fellow classmates will hate me as well for making them lose a bit of lunchtime: it was now even more unlikely for me to fess up to being Bob. A good 10 minutes of lunchtime had passed and the faculty waiting on a confession had already pulled out their lunches and began eating.
But after a long twenty minutes of lunch time gone, I couldn't bare it any longer. The blatant injustice was evident, and it was unfair that my whole class were to continue to be punished for my mistake. I was about to fess up and face the worst, but something stopped me: a kid named Tony spun up out of his chair and confessed "I am Bob." My teacher was confused for a second, looked at me (as she had expected me to be the culprit), then looked at Tony, then asked Tony to come to the center of the room, with an angry shaking in her voice. She dismissed the class for what little time was left of lunch. I left a bit slower than the rest of the class as I watched an innocent man trudge toward his inevitable e*******n. The injustice was eating me up inside. Tony had sacrificed himself for the rest of the class, and I couldn't just leave him out there to dry. I began to approach the teacher to confess so I could save this innocent man's life, but then the shouting began. Like, the teachers, librarian, and principal were straight-up shouting at Tony for the whole 'Bob incident.' Tony never flinched or even shed a tear; he stood resolute in the face of danger. And with that, I left. I didn't see Tony for a few days after that; either coincidence or maybe he got suspended: I wasn't particularly close to him so I never asked and never found out the full extent of his punishment, though I do know that no one in the class held it against him as he told everyone that he didn't really do it and explained that he did take one for the team and everyone believed him, so no one in the class ever found out who Bob was.
Do I feel guilty about it? Yes. Looking back, I really shouldn't have let the situation drag out for so long, and I really shouldn't have left Tony to die in that computer lab, but I was too afraid of the Wrath of the Faculty to approach any closer, and I let Tony take one for the team.
Godspeed, Tony.
**TL;DR: In 6th grade a made a fake file on library network named "Bob." Cruel teacher got extremely pissed and held the whole class in from lunch until she could locate who 'Bob' was, teacher already hated my guts and loved extreme punishments so I didn't confess and a kid named Tony ended up taking one for the team. I live with guilt for the rest of my days as I let an innocent man die.**.
#36
I was asked to take a picture of my team. I obviously was not in it.........
#37
When Phineas decided to take Isabella to an ice cream parlour with Ferb, but Ferb said that “he had something to do” so that Isabella can have some alone time with Phineas.
What a bro.
#38
This one is small, but I play this horse racing game called Alicia Online. There are team races, and I was close to somebody on my team who was in the lead. There’s a magic spell called the fire dragon, where a fireball appears above your character and the fireball multiplies, until it gets to five, then a dragon blasts you with flames and your horse stumbles and falls. Anyway, the guy was about to get blasted by the dragon, but I came up behind him and purposely took the dragon from him. I forgot to mention the spell can be passed before the dragon attacks, oops. But my team won the race. All thanks to my skillz.
#39
Teacher was a complete psycho. she held the whole class back from recess because no one would donated foolscap paper for those who were absent. now, we are more than happy to donate but the problem is that everyone is out of foolscap. so i sprinted from the class to the school supplies store. mind you that it was a 3 kilometre sprint to & fro & a lot of stairs. bought 3 pads of foolscap, class was dismissed, & the teacher was still bossy.
#40
This isn't really taking it for the team, since the guy actually did what he was confessing to. But on my high school football team, someone took another player's phone and mass-sexted people (we're talking everyone between grandma and classmates). He didn't think he'd be caught, but the coach found out before we even got off the bus.
He threatens to make us all do bear crawls until someone confesses. The guy that actually stole the phone fessed up but the coach wouldn't believe him. Bear crawls for the rest of the season commenced.
#41
Luis Suarez hand ball during the 2010 world cup quarter finals.
#42
I’m who translates most of the voice chat for some of my teammates in overwatch.
Sometimes people appreciate it, others really hate it. I do it because I can and I want to win.
#43
Soccer coach saw the team was starting to slip up, we had a decent lead but it was starting to not look great, so he started shouting at the ref and kept arguing while the clock ran out, preventing any goals during that time and getting ejected from the game. Our schools team won because of that, was a great sight to witness.
#44
I have one one literally from this week
Its was my one year anniversary with my wife this week and we went to a fancy hotel for 2 days.
On the first night after dinner we were chilling outside with a bottle of wine infront of a firepit type thingy. I went inside to get another bottle of wine and a woman came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and asked me for my number. I declined, told her I was with my wife and wished her luck. She followed me out to the fire pit to where my wife was and told my wife that our marriage was a lie and that I was in love with her.
Crazy as f**k but it gets worse
We get up and walk away from her and go to our room, she follows up there. We politely tell her to f**k off and go inside. we both laughed about it
The next morning we both got up to go to the spa as we had treatments booked, wife had a facial type thing & I had a massage.
When we got back to our room, crazy lady was in our bed naked drinking a bottle of chanpagne. Wife freaked out, I freaked out.
Wife & I bolted down to reception and tore strips of the manager for giving her a key to our room. They were adamant that they didnt give her a key, while this is going on she is still in our room. turns out she met a cleaner, told cleaner she was my wife and lost her key. Cops are called, she gets arrested. As she is being led away her friends came up and asked what happened to "Karen" I told them the score and their reaction was "oh karen has done that before" as if thats f*****g normal
That crazy b***h should be sectioned off to a f*****g metal home.
#45
At my school somebody graffitied the boys bathrooms pretty badly and my teacher narrowed it down to a few people.
I asked her what the punishment was and i then made it obvious i was taking one for the team out of impatience. She decided i didn’t do it and told me i was free to go, so i left.
And i was the one who graffitied the bathroom.
#46
While on a bachelor party cruise, towards the end of the second night when the entire group was well f****d-up, a rather unattractive older woman approached us with her husband and said "You boys looking to have some fun? My friend Dirty Cheryl is with us and she wants to get.it.on!"
We all kinda laughed amongst ourselves and then looked towards the *one* friend who we knew would possibly accept such a proposition, and he just sort of shrugged his shoulders and said "okay."
Smash cut to five minutes later, the rest of us are hanging at the casino bar and we look across the way to see our hero and Dirty Cheryl making out, only she's wearing his hat and he's wearing her high heels.
When we all met the following morning for breakfast, he told us that they went back to her room where the married couple she was on board with was asleep. Apparently she fell asleep halfway through their campaign, at which point he said he just finished on her back, pulled the sheets over her and left the room.
I still remember the thing that made him most upset was that he left his hat behind.
#47
There was a 'Nice' thread going on in the replies when one said "Ok guys. I'll take one for the team. Downvote mine".
#48
I was hanging out with two of my guy friends the other day, one of which has never had a three***e. I definitely took one for the team that day.
Beak Hookage 3 days ago
I have no idea what the hell to make of that so I'll just say those tattoos are amazing.
#49
Alright well this one time I was driving home with some friends. There’s a girl in the passenger seat, a guy and his gf in the backseat. They are getting frisky back there. At one point the girl in the passenger seat leans over and the girls make out. Then the passenger girl leans over to me and starts rubbing my leg. She starts getting frisky with me but I can hear them whispering in the backseat about trying to get a t*******e going. Passenger girl offers me road head but I just recommended she hop in the backseat. So both the girls end up blowing my buddy. I knew he always wanted a t*******e. I did almost ruin it though when he asked me to put on some mood music and I thought it would be really funny to play the team America world police theme song which I happen to have on my iPhone for random funny moments. Nobody thought it was as funny as I did but I stand by it to this day.
#50
Since 2000 in the NFL, every mvp who has made it to the super bowl has lost.
Carson Wentz was on track to win MVP this year, then got injured, and his backup led them to the Superbowl win.
What do you think ?
Beak Hookage 3 days ago
In primary school we were doing a production of The Wizard of Oz. Nobody wanted to play the Wicked Witch and it looked like the whole thing would have to be cancelled. I, knowing d**n well I was one of the most unpopular kids in the entire school, finally said "I'll do it, since everyone hates me anyway" (I still play this sort of thing off as a joke). The play was saved and the other kids cheered when I "died". Yeah, I ended up leaving that school early but I felt good about myself for once.
JB 2 days ago (edited)
Interesting. I did something similar, also at primary/middle school (church affiliated). Easter play. Nobody wanted to be Judas. So, despite being a girl, I volunteered. Teacher asked, “why?” I shrugged and quoted the bit about God sending his only son to die. That was the plan, it was God’s will that someone betrayed Jesus to die on the cross. It was also God’s will that it be one of the disciples. Somebody had to do it; realistically, all Judas did was what God wanted. I did my 10-year old best to show Judas as a tortured soul, loathing the part he had to play but willing to take on eternal dāmnation to fulfill Gods wishes.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 3 days ago
In primary school we were doing a production of The Wizard of Oz. Nobody wanted to play the Wicked Witch and it looked like the whole thing would have to be cancelled. I, knowing d**n well I was one of the most unpopular kids in the entire school, finally said "I'll do it, since everyone hates me anyway" (I still play this sort of thing off as a joke). The play was saved and the other kids cheered when I "died". Yeah, I ended up leaving that school early but I felt good about myself for once.
JB 2 days ago (edited)
Interesting. I did something similar, also at primary/middle school (church affiliated). Easter play. Nobody wanted to be Judas. So, despite being a girl, I volunteered. Teacher asked, “why?” I shrugged and quoted the bit about God sending his only son to die. That was the plan, it was God’s will that someone betrayed Jesus to die on the cross. It was also God’s will that it be one of the disciples. Somebody had to do it; realistically, all Judas did was what God wanted. I did my 10-year old best to show Judas as a tortured soul, loathing the part he had to play but willing to take on eternal dāmnation to fulfill Gods wishes.
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